Showing posts with label bully. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bully. Show all posts
Friday, March 1, 2013
Bully Teacher
I am so angry with the school because a teacher has been exiling Damien from the classroom WITHOUT a pass due to another student saying, “He makes me uncomfortable.” His IEP specifically states that if he gets stressed, the teachers are supposed to either make concessions for him as providing him a place to pace or if the students complain, send him to content mastery, so he can pace there.
Instead, she sends him out of the classroom without a pass leaving him vulnerable to getting detention for being out of the classroom without a pass. She violated the IEP, therefore, she broke the law. I feel this would have been the perfect opportunity to have Damien teach the students in the class about autism.
Instead, she backed up the thoughts that there is something wrong with children with autism, and they are something to be scared of. I feel that the repercussions of the media’s Sandy Hook lashout toward people with autism has finally reared its ugly head. I was expecting to see it soon, but I did not think it would be from a bully teacher.
Damien begged me not to call the school and refused to tell me which teacher it was. I respected his wishes and did not call for a couple of days, but the more I thought about it, the more I decided that they are just bullying Damien for being himself, no other reason. I never believed a teacher would back up a bully.
We have worked far too hard to have Damien accepted by his peers. He has taken himself from being considered low functioning to now being considered high functioning. He has advocated for himself time and time again, but because he likes this teacher, he is afraid to say anything. Now, this teacher has undone 15 1/2 years of work. I will not stand for it.
That other student will continue to marginalize, bully, and be frightened of children with autism. I will not stand for that. It is a disservice to both Damien and this other child to treat Damien as something to be afraid of.
I called the special education counselor, and she assured me that this will be remedied as soon as possible. It better be.
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
School Lunches & Bullying
Yesterday, Damien let me know that he has not been eating at school because the new rules are that they are to eat outside. I sent an email to Xxxxxxx Xxxxxxxx, the counselor for the SPED Department, about it.
Ms. Xxxxxxxx,
It has come to my attention that Damien has not been eating at school anymore. He has been going through the day without lunch. I asked him why, and he has told me that he is not able to get away from the crowd and cannot eat when he is in a crowded area. When he was in Xxxxx [middle school], Damien was given preferential seating at lunch for the same reason. We took that out of his IEP due to him being able to choose where he sits for lunch. Now, because of the new rule, he can no longer to choose to sit away from the crowd at the school. The result is him coming home with a headache and starving. It is beginning to affect his ability to concentrate, and I am afraid that his education is going to begin to suffer as well. He has told me that he is not the only student that has stopped eating for the same reason. However, my concern is for my child and his well-being. Ms. Xxxxxxxx, we do not have the monetary funds to send Damien's lunch to school with him on a daily basis as due to my present unemployment. I do feel that the additional stress on Damien is negatively affecting him. Is there anyway that he can begin to eat lunch outside again to eleviate his stress level? He has used this time to de-stress and pace since he has gone to school at Xxxxxx. I have talked to some of the teachers at Xxxxxx that know Damien, and they have told me about his daily pace (de-stress) sessions. Please help him with this issue.
Thank you,
Pamela N. Brown
Today, I received the following response:
Mrs. Brown,
I was unaware that Damien was not eating. Thank you for letting me know. I contacted Ms. Xxxxx [the principal] and she has agreed to allow Damien to eat outside. She will let the Associates be aware and allow him to eat outside.
Tell Damien to come see me if there is ever a problem and I will help correct it.
Have a great day.
Xxxxx Xxxxxxxx
Special Education Counselor
Xxxxxx High School
(XXX) XXX-XXXX ext. XXXX
Also, Damien told me that Ms. Xxxxx [the principal] spoke to him, and reassured him that he can eat outside as needed. I am so glad when the faculty at the school address our issues and agree that the main objective of us all is for Damien to have the opportunity to get the education that he deserves.
On a different note, I have learned that Damien is still being bullied at school. As I mentioned in the above email to Damien's counselor, Damien uses lunch as an opportunity to de-stress. As a child with autism, the method is seen in stimming rituals. Damien's is to walk in a circle, specifically, at school, it is around one of the trees at school. He has been pacing around this tree since he was a freshman in high school.
One of my friends that I went to university with is a special education teacher at the school. She told me that during Damien's freshman year, she noticed he was circling that tree every day at lunch. She said that the tree had grass around it, but by the end of the first semester, Damien had worn the grass away. She went on to tell me that by the end of Damien's freshman year, there was a small trench around the tree, and by the end of his sophomore year, the trench had grown in depth. She said that she was not a least bit surprised to see Damien circling the tree at the beginning of this, his junior, year.
My friend was not the only person to notice this, as we all know, a routine is easily recognized by observers. One day, a group of football players circled the tree and started pushing Damien, laughing at him for circling the tree, and calling him "retard." One of these boys' teammates, approached the group and told them, "Stop it. That is not cool. Damien is a nice guy and far from being retarded. He is the smartest kid I know, a lot smarter than all of you."
Damien was more excited that this classmate of his that he has developed a relationship with over the years took up for him than he was upset about being bullied or picked on, but my heart is still broken over the way people continually treat my son. Damien did say that one of the boys approached him the next day and told him, "I'm sorry I was so mean to you yesterday. I feel just awful about the way I treated you, and there is no excuse for the way I acted. I have learned not to judge people because they are different." Now, Damien does not only have one person to take up for him, he has two. According to Damien, no one has treated him that way since.
Monday, December 17, 2012
Tragedy In The U.S.
My mind was still reeling from the local news reports Friday morning. On Thursday morning, local business man drew a gun on police officers that resulted in his death. I responded by saying, "This can't be happening here. Not in this town. You hear about this kind of thing happening in larger cities, but not here." The more I thought about it, I realized that it does happen here; and we have been directly affected by it.
Several years back, a gang war erupted in our small city. A young mentally disabled child was killed by gunfire, and the war grew out of hand. My husband and I were shopping with the children in the local mall when the battle came to it's peak. There was fighting, and guns and knives were being waved around as we tried to protect our boys. The stores closed their doors locking us amidst the violent altercation. All my husband and I could do to protect our boys was back them into a corner and shield them with our bodies. Officers soon got the skirmish under control, and we were directed out of the mall. I never realized until now, that it was a good two years before I would walk through those mall doors once again.
Though it was a horrifying experience, I never thought that I would hear of a person shooting at police officers in my town. But, it did happen, and the result was the loss of the life to the local business man along with the discovery of 131 firearms and 63,000 rounds of ammunition. The gunman's family members are in mourning, and the officer who had been left with little choice but to fire back is undergoing the required treatment for officers that take a life. Two families are in turmoil because of this needless altercation.
My mind was still reeling about the battle that ensued on the other side of the freeway from my home. I thought of how lucky we are to be safe from gun violence when the news broke about Newtown, Connecticut. I cannot begin to imagine how the parents must feel. As I watched the news in terror, tears flowed freely from my eyes. Those poor innocent babies, teachers, and faculty ~ Charlotte Bacon, Daniel Barden, Rachel Davino, Olivia Engel, Josephine Gay, Ana M. Marquez-Greene, Dylan Hockley, Dawn Hochsprung, Madeleine F. Hsu, Catherine V. Hubbard, Chase Kowalski, Jesse Lewis, James Mattioli, Grace McDonnell, Anne Marie Murphy, Emilie Parker, Jack Pinto, Noah Pozner, Caroline Previdi, Jessica Rekos, Avielle Richman, Lauren Rousseau, Mary Sherlach, Victoria Soto, Benjamin Wheeler, and Allison N. Wyatt.
Today, the news is still engrossed with coverage for the horrifying massacre. My heart aches for the family and friends of the children and faculty of the small school, as it aches for the family and friends of the gunman. We could never understand what drove him to draw one of his four guns on the students and teachers ending their lives. What traumatic event did this young man undergo to make him feel the need to take the lives of others? It was recently released he was the victim of bullying at a school he attended. Could this be the reason for his mental anguish?
I am further horrified at the probable repercussions toward children and adults with autism due to guessing game the media is irresponsibly playing about the possible mental health issues the gunman may or may not have had. I have extensively researched, bipolar disorder, ADHD, Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD), and Reactive Attachment Disorders (RAD) both in University and through my employment as a Child Protective Services Investigator. Each of these four disorders are often misdiagnosed, meaning a person with these disorders exhibit traits with another one of these disorders. I find it hard to believe that this man had an ASD, as children with an ASD are less likely to be violent toward other people. For a matter of fact, most people with an ASD are likely to be law abiding citizens and have a need to follow laws and rules.
If people with autism do exhibit violent tendencies, it is more likely to be in the form of a self-injurious behavior or an INSTANTANEOUS outburst due to SUDDEN frustration and stress. They are not likely to plan out a violent event. The truth is, no one is certain whether this man had any of these disorders because diagnoses can be incorrect; but it is more likely that it would have been a disorder that a symptom is a risk taking behavior such as ADHD, RAD, or bipolar disorder. I want to make it quite clear that I am not saying all people with these disorders are dangerous. Anyone, even people with no history of mental illness or mental health issues, can snap, just as they all can be perfectly fine.
My fears are founded as my son with autism has worked so hard throughout his life to be accepted, and now, we fear that people are going to treat him like there is something wrong with him because of the media's quick response to put the blame off on autism. Just to think that all of these 17 years of hard work for my son could be all taken away because of one man's actions and the media's misrepresentation of autism breaks my heart.
Regardless, it is clear that something is very wrong with this country. While I was learning of our local gunfire incident, I also learned of the mall shooting in Oregon, where Cindy Ann Yuille and Steven Forsyth lost their lives. Then, of course there is the Newton incident on Friday. Saturday, California was rocked by the gunfire at an open air mall where twenty shots were fired in the air luckily not hitting anyone. Sunday night, two police officers, Corporal David Gogian and Jeff Atherly, were shot in the head and killed by a gunman in the parking lot of a grocery store in Kansas. This shooter has lost his life in another standoff with police officers in Topeka, Kansas. In November, a thirteen year old girl, Lourdes Guzman, was shot and killed in front of her seven year old sister on a private school bus in Florida.
We, as a country, still have not healed from the Sikh Temple shooting in Wisconsin where Bhai Seeta Singh, Bhai Parkash Singh, Bhai Ranjit Singh, Satwant Singh Kaleka, Subegh Singh, and Parmjit Kaur Toor lost their lives. We still have not healed from the Aurora theater shooting where Jonathon Blunk, Alexander "AJ" Boik, Jessie Childress, Gordon Cowden, Jessica Ghawi, John Larimer, Matt McQuinn, Micayla Medek, Veronica Moser-Sullivan, Alex Sullivan, Alexander Teves, Rebecca Wingo, and the unborn child of Ashley Moser lost their lives, as well as the numerous people injured (Petra Anderson, Adan Avila, Brandon Axelrod, Tony Billipando, Christina Blanche, Maria Carbonell, Alejandra Cardona-Lamas, Louis Duran, Craig Enlund, Alex Expinoza, Jacqueline Fry, Yousef Gharbi, Zachary Golditch, Munirah Gravelly, Eugene Han, Jay Jenkins, Bonnie Kate, Jasmine Kennedy, Marcus Kizzar, Patricia Legaretta, Brenton Lowak, Ryan Lumba, Caleb Medley, Ashley Moser, Stephen Moton, Joshua Nowlan, Pierce O'Farrill, Prodeo Patria, Rita Paulina, Christopher Rapoza, Carli Richards, Dion Roseborough, Carey Rottman, Lucas Smith, Heather Snyder, Ferrah Soudana, Catherine Streib, Jamison Toews, Denise Traynom-Axelrod, Marcus Weaver, Michael White, David Williams, Allie Young, Jansen Young, Samantha Yowler, Gage Hankins, Mckayla Hicks, Stephen Barton, Nickelas Gallup, Evan Farris, Jennifer Avila, Jarrell Brooks, Amanda Hernandez-Memije, Kelly Lewis, Bonnie Pourcian, Anggiat Mora, Ethan Rohrs, and Nathan Juranek).
These are only a few of the violent shootings that have rocked our country and ripped at the hearts of mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, and friends country wide. I have no answers as to what should be done. I have no clue what motivates people to take the lives of innocent people. I do know that all of the people who have fell victim to such violence need to be remembered because once we realize that this could have been us, and it could be our families suffering, then, and only then, can we do something to attempt to end the violence.
Original Poem by Isha Jade
Facts About Autism:
Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” (NIV Matthew 19:14)
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