Erikson’s Theory of Psychosocial Development

I find there are three stages in Erikson’s Theory of Psychosocial Development where faith can play a significant role in social development. During the Identity vs. Role confusion stage, adolescents are trying to find their identity and fit in to society. They hope to do so in a positive manner. They also begin at this stage to start thinking more philosophically and spiritually. Through their ability to become devoted to friends and causes, they may find themselves joining a peer group that has a Christian background. This gives many a feeling of identity. This is also the stage that most adolescents’ faith is being tested. If their peer groups are delinquents, or they have developed an inferiority complex from the previous stage of development, they may find themselves becoming delinquents as well. The next stage that I feel faith may contribute to the emotional and social development of the individual is the Generativity vs. Self-absorption or Stagnation stage. Many individuals in this stage begin to teach their children about their culture, if their culture is a Christian culture, the individual may want to pass their ideals on to their children. They begin to look at the bigger picture. In other words, they no longer see the world as a place that holds them as the epicenter, but now may see the world as much bigger than them. They want social change and to help their brothers. They usually turn to faith to find the answers on how to help. On the other hand, if the person is more self-absorbed, they do not see the world in the same way. They may want to strive to help only themselves. Their end goal may be material, even if they feel that they are faithful, or Christians, they may be more devoted to the capitalist dream than to Christianity. The final stage that I feel faith may play a big part in is the Integrity vs. Despair stage. We all learn at a young age that death is inevitable. Whether you have faith in an afterlife or not often determines whether you fear death or not. A person with a lack of faith may fight death all the way, but those with a strong sense of Christianity, may be more accepting their inevitable fate.

Adolescence with My Bipolar Sister

Throughout my studies, I have found that most articles and books on bipolar disorder in children and adolescents seem to focus on the child with the disorder and the parents. In the books that mention siblings, a short paragraph or a few of pages are written and little is said about the negative effects of the disorder on siblings. Therefore, it is my goal to bring awareness of the impact of bipolar disorder on “healthier” siblings and how this impact may be exhibited in school-aged siblings.

From personal experience, I understand how having a sibling with bipolar disorder can have negative effects on all areas of a student’s life, and when that sibling is only eighteen months older, there is no place to escape from the effects of the disorder; not even school can be considered a safe haven. At school, I had many negative experiences when it came to my sister’s diagnosis, but not everything was bad. Cassie and I had a lot of fun too. It seems, though, the negative outweighed the positive. From my peers, I received constant bullying and teasing about my “crazy” sister, and my teachers lacked compassion and understanding on days of or the day after a complete meltdown. Often my assignments were late, if they were done at all. Sometimes, my assignments had been finished but were destroyed during the volatile outburst of the evening before. Though Cassie and I scored slightly below 150 (149 and 147) IQ assessments, when she hit puberty, both of our grades began to drop.

Not only did my grades drop, but I also began to notice changes in the attitudes of teachers as Cassie’s bipolar disorder worsened. Whereas teachers were once excited to have me in their classrooms, I would be warned the first day of school every year that I would not be allowed to behave as my sister had. One teacher actually pulled me aside in the hallway before I stepped into her classroom and said, “You will not be the little troublemaker that Cassie was last year. I will not put up with that, and any failure to follow my class rules will result in a failing grade on your report card.” I had not even been given the opportunity to introduce myself to the teacher nor was I allowed an opportunity to make my own first impression; my sister had already made that for me. Furthermore, I was attempting to enter the classroom with my friends when I the teacher confronted me. Understandably, friends soon began to shy away from me, and I became isolated and alone.

Before Cassie’s breakdown my freshman year of high school, I was recognized as one of the top students in school. Afterwards, I was struggling to stay afloat. I began to develop mixed and confusing feelings about my sister. Cassie was beginning to become more aggressive and volatile, and outbursts directed toward me became more frequent and dangerous. Although I felt like no one else in the world could understand what I was going through, I know now my experience is common for siblings of individuals with bipolar disorder. Evans and Andrews write in their book If Your Adolescent Has Depression or Bipolar Disorder, “Siblings may bear the brunt of a brother's or sister's angry outbursts” (2005). These outbursts began to foster a sense of loss, resentment, fear, embarrassment, and envy within me.

My sense of loss stemmed from many attributions, one of which was the loss of the close relationship Cassie and I once shared. It seemed as if Cassie’s body had been snatched in the middle of the night, and I was sharing a room with a stranger. Although Cassie had been aggressive toward me from the day my mother brought me home from the hospital, we did love each other very much, and we did get along. However, all of that was suddenly gone. Cassie bombarded me with “I hate you!” screaming sessions and left horrible wounds and bruises on my body. Other times she would tell me that I was a mistake and should have never been born.

For a matter of fact Cassie had me believe I was not my parents’ child, and their neglect toward me helped Cassie to convince me. Although I did believe it then, now I do not believe Mom and Dad intended on neglecting any of us. I know from recent research that neglect is all too common when families are dealing with bipolar disorder. In the book Understanding the Mind of Your Bipolar Child Lombardo states, “Because the bipolar child needs an excessive amount of attention, other children in the family receive less parenting – especially if they're healthy” (2006). My little brother, Scott, and I both received minimal parenting and support. Frequently, Dad worked from sunup to sundown, and Mom was so consumed with taking care of Cassie and/or keeping up with her that I would be left to help Scott with his homework, cook dinner, and do chores. I do not remember Mom ever being around for basketball games or to watch me as I marched in the band.

Because of the neglect, I began to resent and envy my sister. She, alone, had my mother’s undivided attention and nothing I did seemed to matter anymore. I began to become depressed, and I spiraled down a path I should have never been allowed to go. At the end of my junior year of high school, I tried out for drum major and actually won the competition. However, many of the school board members in our small town decided that I was not a “good representative for the school” because of our “family problems.” My overall GPA of 98.6 or my clean discipline record suddenly meant nothing. Mom did, on this occasion, go to the school board and fight for me. I was allowed to be drum major, but my family was still falling apart. While I was at band camp, my mother and father decided to separate on my birthday. By the time I returned home, it was to a different house without my father and sister’s presence.

Not having Cassie and Dad around did not make things easier; Mom had been stressed out for far too long. “Caring for a bipolar child is exhausting” (Lombardo, 2006), and it had taken its toll on my mother. Within three months of my return from camp my brother had been sent to live with Dad, and my mother was admitted to a stress unit due to a nervous breakdown. Before we knew what was going on, I had been living on my own. I had not seen my mother for weeks before her admission to the care facility. Not feeling as if I mattered, I began drinking, doing drugs, and cutting. With my arms full of wounds and a dazed look in my eyes, I still went to school because it was the only place I could get a meal. I continued to do well in academics but was often sent out of the room to the principal’s office because I cried all of the time. So, once my lunch ticket ran out, I stopped going to school. As soon as Dad found out what was going on, I was reunited with both him and my brother and finished high school with honors.

My feelings of depression and abandonment are common for siblings of individuals with bipolar disorder. As an adult, I have sought counseling and therapy because I have feared for years that I have bipolar disorder too. However, my therapist and psychologist have explained to me that when Cassie cycles, we all cycle with her. If she is in a good mood, then we experience good moods as well. However, when Cassie is down, she takes the rest of us down with her. Admittedly, Cassie’s bipolar disorder is part of the reason I left my family as soon I graduated high school. I love my sister, but drifting off from the family is the only way I can keep my sanity. The therapist has explained that I suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), which explains frequent anxiety attacks during family functions. Apparently PTSD is common for siblings of people with bipolar disorder. According to Survival Strategies for Parenting Children with Bipolar Disorder, “siblings of children with rage issues often show signs of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder such as hyper vigilant reactions, nervousness, and nightmares. These symptoms are caused by living under the continual stress of the threat of violence in the home” (Lynn, 2000). Though I do not blame Cassie, I blame the monster she has to battle each and every day. I know Cassie still struggles, and I am just now, twenty years later, beginning to be able to let go of some of the resentment and anger toward her.

I know if I had just one teacher, one youth minister, or one adult friend who understood my situation and the difficult times I endured, I would like to think I would not have suffered as much. Most of my school-aged years I blamed myself for my sister’s problems and would purposely do poorly on work to keep my sister from being jealous. Therefore this is my plea to any educator who reads this to show more compassion to their students who are siblings of children with mood disorders or other disabilities. Although they are typically developing and seem to be healthier than their siblings, life is anything but typical for them.

References

Evans, D. L., & Andrews, L. W. (2005). If Your Adolescent Has Depression or Bipolar Disorder (pp. 127-128). New York: Oxford.

Lombardo, G. T. (2006). Understanding the Mind of Your Bipolar Child (pp. 68-72). New York: St. Martin's Press.

Lynn, G. T. (2000). Survival Strategies for Parenting Children with Bipolar Disorder (p. 64). Philadelphia: Jessica Kingsley.

Devon: Oppositional Defiant Disorder

Personal Reaction

I have never fully understood oppositional defiant disorder (ODD). Until I saw this video, I believed that people with ODD choose to act the way the do. I never before believed that people could not control their actions. However, after listening to Devon, I have come to realize that the control does not come easily to everyone. Some people have to be taught anger management techniques and other behavioral management skills so they can control their disorder. I am able to see that Devon shows remorse when he has lost control. In comparison to Ashley, he does seem to fully understand the implications of his actions and does care how his disorder affects how others view him.

Essential Points

Characteristics of ODD. Devon states that he swears too much and gets in fights at school. Devon argues with his parents and has to take medication to help him control his anger. Devon states that he does not think when he fights, he just reacts. Once he becomes angry, he pushes anything that gets in his way. He said it was like he could not control his arms and legs and they react in a way that he did not want. It has taken three teachers to hold Devon down when he is angry. He states that he does not become afraid when he is restrained and often has to be out of the sight of the person who has angered him in order to regain control. Devon knows that kids fear him and that brings him down.

Impact of ODD on Education. Devon has been expelled from his school. He is no longer able to attend the private school that he loves. He states that he misses his old teachers and his friends. Devon often reacts negatively when he is playing sports. He feels that teachers could be more helpful by providing warnings and giving him time and space for regrouping. He feels that teachers who argue with him push the issue too much and cause the problems to worsen. Devon worries about his grades and is afraid his mood disorder will prevent him from playing college basketball and being a NBA basketball star. Other students at school fear Devon, and he has very few friends.

Positive Impacts of Therapy. Devon states that he is now beginning to understand his disorder. In counseling, he is being taught behavior management skills as well as anger management techniques. Devon knows that he has choices when he is angered and knows that he should walk away when confronted. Though Devon still engages in fighting, he is able to calm down once he is pulled off of other kids and teachers. Devon does say that counseling has taught him to calm his anger by counting to ten, thinking of something else to do, or thinking happy thoughts. Sometimes Devon is able to stop his rage when prompted to stop. He does not like getting into fights and tries to forget about them, but counseling helps him to own up to his behavior, as well as helping him to get things off of his chest. Devon knows if he could control his anger, school would be much better and he would not be grounded as much.

Application of the Essential Points

I feel this video helped me to understand oppositional defiant disorder to an extent. I will probably teach students that have anger issues in my classroom to use the anger management tools taught to Devon. I would also be sure to give space to students once I realize that an outburst is about to happen. I will not push students who are being defiant and will give them space to regroup.

Educating Peter

This video was made not to take sides with the controversy between integration of children with disabilities into regular education, but to give us some insight into the world of one little boy. It was made to help the general public understand what integration of children with disabilities means to everyone affected by such integration.

Major Points

Everyone, including the teacher, is afraid of Peter. As the film begins, we see how everyone’s attitudes toward Peter are more or less negative. Though the teacher clearly states that her role as a teacher is to educate every student in her classroom, she states that she is worried that something will go wrong. She stated that she must be vigilantly on guard in regard to Peter and the other students. She also states that she is frightened that something will happen when she is not there. The other children state that they are frightened of Peter. It seems to me that no one stopped to think how Peter must feel to be in an environment that he does not quite understand.

Peter’s behavior is a major issue throughout the film. As with many students with disabilities, Peter tends to act up more that the other kids. His behavior is inconsistent and unpredictable. In the beginning Peter is very aggressive. Peter kicks, hits, chokes, pushes, tackles, and bangs other students’ heads together. The teacher decided it was time to give the children a more active role in the classroom. She had the other students get involved in the “peer planning” process of the classroom. They asked the children if they knew why Peter acted up in the classroom. She asked for suggestions from the classroom on how to redirect Peter’s behavior. She taught them what they can and cannot do to help Peter. One of the things pointed out was that the children should not give Peter attention for negative behavior, but should give him attention for positive behavior. The teacher took a more active approach toward Peter’s behavior as well. First she gives him tangible consequences for his behavior. She gives him the choice to either talk to her now about his behavior, or to speak with her during recess about his behavior. Then, she asks him what he did wrong and relates the problem to him directly. She asks Peter if he would he like being treated the way he treats the other students? She then has him apologize for his behavior.

The other students’ attitudes toward Peter are a major point. They admitted that they stared because he does not look like any of them. They do not know what to think of Peter because he makes loud noises. One little boy wonders why Peter is even there. He says that Peter will probably not learn anything. In the beginning, before the peer planning, the other children would shove back. However, they learned how to deal with Peter without using force. This caused his outbursts to be less and less frequent. Later in the video the students in the classroom state that they enjoy having Peter around. One little boy thought that he would not like Peter in the beginning, but ended up considering Peter one of his best friends. The overall attitude toward Peter in the end was best summed up by a little freckle-faced girl, “He changed because we changed. He changed because we changed our minds about him. He changed because we helped him.”

Peter’s self image is an issue in the film. Peter’s mother said that Peter comes home from school and is very happy. He is also tired, but he is still happy that he is given the opportunity to go to school. He has less and less outbursts throughout the year, which leads me to believe that he is no longer frustrated about the classroom. He feels comfortable and is made to feel comfortable in the classroom. He realizes that it is just not Peter, but he is part of something bigger. This does not mean that Peter does not continue to get frustrated. When working on his own, Peter feels bad about himself because he does realize that he is not able to do the same things that the other children are doing. He complains, “I’m stupid.” The teacher responds, “No you’re not.” Again, Peter says, “I’m stupid.” Then the teacher states, “You are not, you are a smart little boy.”

In the end, everyone felt they benefited from having Peter integrated into the classroom. One girl in the classroom says that they may have taught him how to do things, but he taught them how to think more and react to other problems. The teacher stated that she would gladly teach Peter again, if given the opportunity. She changed her expectations from, “I don’t think you can do this” to “I expect you to do this because I know you can.” Peter benefited as well. He learned academics, social skills, and how to control his behavior. Peter made many great friends and the rest of the classroom gained one amazing friend.

Personal Reaction

This is my favorite video by far. Watching this movie was a rollercoaster ride. To start with I, of all people, thought maybe there should be a limit for what types of children are integrated into regular education classrooms. I was taken back. I did not think I would ever feel that way about this topic. Me of all people, I have an uncle who is mentally retarded, and realize how unfair it was that he was always separated from the rest of the students. Me of all people, I have a son who I have fought all of his school years to keep him with his peers. I wonder if this was just my mothering response kicking in. I have been in a similar situation with Damien. At one point in his life he was extremely aggressive toward his little brother. When I caught him choking his little brother, and his little brother’s face turning blue, I wondered if Damien and Dylan would be better off if my husband and I separated residences taking only one to each home. I could not bear to do this and had to find another way to deal with the problem. From time to time, not very often, Damien is still aggressive toward Dylan, but Dylan knows how to handle the problem now. Peter, like Damien, just seemed so out of control and a danger to himself, and the other students. I understand that children like Peter, my uncle, and my son get frustrated so easily, but it seemed so unfair to the other students who were getting injured in the process. However, after the teacher implemented the peer planning process to the classroom, the out-of-control behavior began to subside. This made me cry because I thought I would be the last person to discriminate against anyone with a disability. I realize now that I am not perfect, and was too quick to judge Peter. I know that Peter was introduced to an entirely new environment that he had not been prepared for, and this must have been overwhelming and difficult for him. He did learn to adjust, which seemed to surprise everyone involved.

Application

I will not be quick to judge a student with disabilities. I will make sure that the other children in the classroom understand why the student acts the way they do, and give them ideas on how to solve the problem without the use of force. I will also be more accepting to all students and make sure that I am patient with them.

Damien Rap

Damien's Rap for Theater Arts ~ I find it amazing that a child with autism that never wanted to participate in anything has come this far. I know it is difficult to hear him, but as a mom of a child with autism, I am more proud of the fact that he is up in front of the class doing this than anything else. I'll get the words from him and add them later. According to his teacher and his classmates, he was the best in the group. Move on over Eminem.

My Name Is Damien

Damien's first self-advocacy video.